J: My wife is a backgammon shark.

T: I used to play backgammon with my brother Tim on Yahoo, back in the day. My screenname was fuoneeye, for the old pirate joke.

J: ?

Fuoneeye? I don’t get it.

T: f-u, one eye.

J: Oh right, I know that one, the parrot joke. Cut out his tongue, did he?

T: It was a female parrot, you racist.

J: R- what? What does that have to do with cutting out hi- um, her tongue?

T: Always trying to silence the pastel-colored among us.

J: Well, they are lazy and they crap all over everything.

T: You’ve got a point, there. So does Ida play on Yahoo?

J: Yahoo? No, but she doesn’t drive a Stanley Steamer, either.

T: Ok, I get your point.

J: If she did, though, her screename would be something like “gimmeyerchipspunk”

T: Chipspunk?

J: Chipspunk.

T: Wtf is chipspunk?

J: I’ll take “Lousy Band Names” for $2,000, Alex.

T: Alex: “This band was formed when members of the Ramones joined forces with Alvin and the Chipmunks.”

J: “You got chipspunk? I HATE chipspunk!” – Ed Asner to Mary Tyler Moore.

T: “I know that. But what are those little green things?” – Ted Knight. Also, “Hideki Sowakaki.”

J: Wasn’t there a Generic Band out there back in the day?

They showed up in white pants and shirts that said “Band” on them?

T: I don’t know who you are talking about.

J: The Who was actually a pretty good band.

T: I liked some of their songs, but I always hated Townshend. He was always a huge asshole, and he’s not as good as he thinks he is.

J: Townshend and Roger Daltrey should get together with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, call it Beatle-Whos.

T: Just Townshend. They can call it the Dung Beatles. Because Pete Townsend is a pile of dung.

J: You could make a pretty good band out of the dead guys from those groups… Lennon, Entwistle, Moon and Harrison.

T: Are you kidding? Dead bodies just lay there. You might as well call them “Hole,” because all they are is a place to put your stuff.

J: Courtney Love already has that gig, though.

T: The Courtney Hole: that’s the hole on the golf course where you take five strokes, overdose on heroin and shoot yourself in the face.

J: That sounds like something that would …