The Latest Slack Chat from Barstool Politickin’

Slack Chat: Small Hands, Small Feet, Small Business

T: Ok, J, let’s start with the premise: Mueller won’t move. The idea is that this is factual, and that we can safely eliminate any possible malfeasance on Mueller’s part, that this is not a partisan witch hunt.

That’s a pretty confident premise, so take it with a grain. But we want to analyze the reaction, not the investigation. That – the investigation’s conclusion and psychotic overreaction – will come in time.

J: Duly noted. As the wise man once said, we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.

T: So given that premise, what are the reactions from each of these perspectives?

J: My guess is a lot of drinking.

T: Hold on, I’m not done setting it up.

J: So we’ll drink out of the bottle, then.

T: Just hold your horses.

J: Hold your donkey.

T: So the far left … the educated left – the far left – is where you find your environmental-Nazis, your Rainbow-Nazis, and all your other forms of fascist liberalism.

What are these yahoos thinking?

J: The far left believes that Trump is ipso facto evil. The antifa types, Bernie Bros and suchlike probably think that Mueller is moving too slowly. In their mind, Trump should have been impeached yesterday, as well as Pence, Ryan, McConnell, and their respective dogs.

T: My take on the Nazi left is that they are so obsessed with hating Trump that a centrist dictator could replace him and they would throw a party. They are, like any extreme group, so off balance that they can be tipped over by a butterfly’s feather duster. They think every Mueller interview subject is automatically a traitor to the nation.

T: Just to be clear, I don’t think Bernie is far left. Bernie is middle left, in my mind. The far left is more like drunk Bernie. They’ve lost their inhibitions, their self-control, and their perspective.

J: OK… it doesn’t really change my assessment, except that Bernie probably wouldn’t impeach the dogs.

T: Bernie is almost a smart far-lefty, which doesn’t actually exist (Easter Bunny, etc.). Anyone that smart can’t be that far left unless it’s the Unabomber, or somebody like that. So he can’t be that far left and still be sane. Ipso facto, bingo bango, he’s mid-left. Whoopo doopso, or whatever the Latin is for that. E. Plurbus Getonthedonkey?

J: E. Normus Donkey

T: We can’t stay on the rails very long, can we?



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