The Latest Slack Chat from Barstool Politickin’

Slack Chat: There’s more than one way to skin a donkey

J: So the government is shut down… what does it mean to the man on the street?

T: Nothing. It never means anything unless it goes on for a long time. And it won’t.

J: Do Social Security checks go out if the government is shut down?

T: Yes.

Essential services … I could be wrong, but the only thing it means is that a bunch of clerks get furloughed, and you can’t get into the national parks.

J: And the trains don’t run on time.

T: Yeah, that’s a huge hardship in Spokane, where we all take the train to work.

J: Well, sarcasm aside, that’s a huge pain in the ass here in the Northeast Corridor.

T: Get a horse.

J: How about a donkey? My boss rides my ass at work, so why not ride my ass to work?

T: Doctor: “The President is lying on his back.”

The rest of America: “Well, roll him over so he isn’t lying on his ass.”

J: “Put him on the donkey, so he can lie on his ass.”

T: “Put him on the donkey” is … wow. Lemme think.

J: Anyway, I don’t think the shutdown hurts too bad for the first week or so. After that, it’s more of a pain in the, well – the donkey.

T: “Mr. Givens, you’ve been convicted of 12 counts of fraud. I sentence you to … to … no. No. The court has had it with Mr. Givens. Put him on the donkey.”

J: “Bailiff, put Mr. Manafort on the donkey.”

T: “We found Oliver sitting in the street, holding an empty porridge bowl. Should we feed him?”

“What, so we can get every orphan in the city knocking on our door, asking for some more? Put him on the donkey.”

J: Fagin probably liked being on the donkey.

T: “Mr. Johnston is here for his weekly massage, but he is short ten dollars. What do you recommend, Madam?”

“Put him on the donkey.”

J: “Happy endings massage – our donkeys are licensed.”

T: “Madam, the donkey is here for its weekly massage.”

“Put him on Mr. Johnston.”

J: I guess it’s a do-anything line.

T: Well, it doesn’t work for everything.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You can now put him on the donkey.”

J: OK, almost anything.

T: That works. Crap. Try this:



The Peanut Gallery



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