J: My wife is a backgammon shark.
T: I used to play backgammon with my brother Tim on Yahoo, back in the day. My screenname was fuoneeye, for the old pirate joke.
Fuoneeye? I don’t get it.
T: f-u, one eye.
J: Oh right, I know that one, the parrot joke. Cut out his tongue, did he?
T: It was a female parrot, you racist.
J: R- what? What does that have to do with cutting out hi- um, her tongue?
T: Always trying to silence the pastel-colored among us.
J: Well, they are lazy and they crap all over everything.
T: You’ve got a point, there. So does Ida play on Yahoo?
J: Yahoo? No, but she doesn’t drive a Stanley Steamer, either.
T: Ok, I get your point.
J: If she did, though, her screename would be something like “gimmeyerchipspunk”
T: Wtf is chipspunk?
J: I’ll take “Lousy Band Names” for $2,000, Alex.
T: Alex: “This band was formed when members of the Ramones joined forces with Alvin and the Chipmunks.”
J: “You got chipspunk? I HATE chipspunk!” – Ed Asner to Mary Tyler Moore.
T: “I know that. But what are those little green things?” – Ted Knight. Also, “Hideki Sowakaki.”
J: Wasn’t there a Generic Band out there back in the day?
They showed up in white pants and shirts that said “Band” on them?
T: I don’t know who you are talking about.
J: The Who was actually a pretty good band.
T: I liked some of their songs, but I always hated Townshend. He was always a huge asshole, and he’s not as good as he thinks he is.
J: Townshend and Roger Daltrey should get together with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, call it Beatle-Whos.
T: Just Townshend. They can call it the Dung Beatles. Because Pete Townsend is a pile of dung.
J: You could make a pretty good band out of the dead guys from those groups… Lennon, Entwistle, Moon and Harrison.
T: Are you kidding? Dead bodies just lay there. You might as well call them “Hole,” because all they are is a place to put your stuff.
J: Courtney Love already has that gig, though.
T: The Courtney Hole: that’s the hole on the golf course where you take five strokes, overdose on heroin and shoot yourself in the face.
J: That sounds like something that would …
The Peanut Gallery