Nashville

The singers:

Rob Bolin, 23– The first two ticket winners auditioned together. Rob has a smoky voice, similar to Danny Gokey from 2008 or Alex Lambert from last season. Rob made two very bad choices in his audition. He let his audition be sort of a joke by bringing his exe in with him, and he chose to take on a high note that he couldn’t pull off.

Chelsee Oaks, 23– The exe. Fodder. She has some power, but no pizzazz.

Stormi Henley, 19– She really shouldn’t have made it through, but she is a former Miss Teen USA so what the hell, give her a ticket. She is fodder in the purest sense – eye candy in a disposable wrapper.

Adrienne Beasley, 22– She’s a black country singer who looks like Alanis Morrisette had a kid with a hammerhead shark. There won’t be two of her.

Jackie Wilson, 28– The judges loved her. She has some vocal characteristics in common with Crystal from last year, and she can hit the high notes, but I dunno. I sensed that she staggered to the finish line and collapsed, rather than running through the tape with her arms up and plenty left in the tank.

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Paul McDonald

Paul McDonald, 25– He has a cool voice, and a cool style. He only sang a few notes though, so it would be premature to crown him.

Jimmy Allen, 25– Good voice, but only a few notes.

Danny Pate, 23– Who knows? He got maybe seven notes before the judges drowned him out. They seemed to love him and I didn’t hear any sour notes, so he probably isn’t William Hung.

Matt Dillard, 27– Fodder. Too bad Hee Haw went off the air.

Paul McDonald
Lauren Alaina

Lauren Alaina, 15– The producers really pimped her, so I assume that we are going to see a lot of her. Her voice is terrific, and she has a lot of vocal tricks for a kid so young. She has no clue where to breathe, but Danny Gokey didn’t, either, and he finished third.

Contender? I’ll go along with the judges, but I’m skeptical. She strikes me as half Honey Boo-Boo and half truck stop waitress, and she isn’t old enough to drive yet.

I came away from the show very lukewarm on the ticket winners from Nashville. I’d probably bet money that one of the three short auditions in the middle (McDonald, Allen or Pate) is as likely to survive to the live shows as the precocious Lauren, who got the main pimping, or the nervous Jackie Wilson.