Baton Rouge

Megan Miller, 22: Miss Baton Rouge, on crutches. What’s the opposite of milking a back story? Megan was practically still bleeding from her accident, but all she had to say is “I got this”. Oh; and she’s funny, smart, and she has a huge, powerful voice. Standout number five.

Aside: My first five standouts are all female, on a show that hasn’t had a female winner in six years. I honestly haven’t heard a male yet that impressed me enough to hitch my wagon to him, but you can be sure I’m looking for one. Nigel did mention that he felt like the females were really strong this year. We’ll see what the voters think later.

Charlie Askew, 17: Creepy little sociopath who Idol wants us to believe is autistic, or something. Are we supposed to buy that this kid who talks to birds, shrubbery, live people, dead people, copies of People Magazine… that this Ritalin starved extrovert has trouble communicating? Linda Lovelace wouldn’t swallow that back story, and we should all feel insulted that Idol thinks we will.

Maddie Assel, 17: Randy went and got her, she sang “Oh Darling”. It’s going to take a vocal coach with a bull whip to get her phrasing under control, but all the ingredients are in there to build a world class performer. Let’s look back in on her in a couple of years.

Paul Jolley, 22: Gotta love that he knows what woodshedding means… He doesn’t have a unique voice, but his is so strong, compared to others with a similar tone and style, that the combination is unique. If I were his coach, I’d actually work on getting him to cut back a bit. His intonation and his tone are rock solid even at top volume, but he doesn’t want to be blowing the windows out of that woodshed. Standout number six.

Dr. Calvin Peters, 27: I like his chest voice ok, but the falsetto was a wee bit shaky for a national competition. He’s a long shot at best, but then again when he gets cut he has being a frigging doctor to fall back on.

Three short-snippit auditions:

Michelle Montezeri, 19: Blonde Pocahontas. Past contestant, could be an interesting sleeper. Plays piano, sings like she has some training. Somebody please tell her to never bump and grind again, ok? Her bump and grind was about as believable as Pat Boone’s heavy metal album.

Breanna Steer, 18: White body stocking. No prospect, not enough voice.

Brady Hotard, 25: Valeri Bertinelli doppelganger. Ouch, that last note was a stinker. Nope.

Dustin Watts, 27: Hunky Fireman. Guys like him can contend, but most of them fit the role of “blue collar good guy”, like Michael Sarver or John Wayne Schulz. If that wasn’t the only song he can sing, he should be around for awhile.

Burnell Taylor, 19: Dude has big time style and plenty of voice, but I can’t call him a standout until he sings a full song in tune. I like him, though. Could be something special, or he could be something gone by Group Night if he can’t sing in tune.