Month: April 2013

Amber walks the plank

Amber, “Power of Love” (Celine Dion)

Her voice was amazing, as usual. Her looks were amazing, as usual. Her professionalism was impressive for a kid, green for an adult – as usual. I heard rumblings that Amber is supposedly the chosen one. I don’t buy the rumors; Amber’s head is going to be on the block tomorrow night even if she is amazing tonight. Only a comparatively weak night from Candice, her first bad night of the entire year, might save her. The judges might love her, I might love her – but the voters love Candice, Kree and Angie more. I kinda like them, too. It’s a tough year. A-

Amber- “McArthur Park” (Donna Summer by way of that rat bastard Richard Harris)

Shoot the guy who picked this song. He might have taken Amber out of the competition. F. Ok, that’s not fair. Amber sang it fine. Emeril cooking a turd and syphilis sandwich would be about the same thing. I don’t care who sings that song. It’s going to be an epic plunge into the cleavage of Medusa’s Hairdresser.

Candice- “Find your Love” (Drake)

She was pitchy here and there, a little sloppy. Other than that, she sounded like vintage Candice. It was a good song choice, or it would have been on a night when she didn’t back it up with another ballad she didn’t pull off as well. A for her voice, B for the performance.

Candice, “Emotions” (Bee Gees/Samantha Sang)

Close your eyes and listen to Candice, and eventually you will hear Dionne Warwick in there a little. I didn’t like her version of the song (boring and a dumb song choice), but I doubt that more than maybe five percent of the audience had ever heard it before – so that shouldn’t be a problem. It still kind of sucked, though. If they were going to make her sing it, they should have shown her where the melody is. B-

Kree, “It Hurts so Bad” (Linda Ronstadt)

Kree isn’t some greenhorn who came to Idol out of the sticks like Amber did. She’s been at it in Nashville for a few years. In a way, this allows Kree to get more out of the Idol experience than some other singers might. She ain’t ever going to crap out Etta James’ licks, or even Linda Ronstadt’s licks, but her attempts at singing the blues on Idol will give some color to her later performances on the Grand Ole Opry. She tries, anyway. In a vacuum I’d give her a B-, but it’s Kree. B+

Kree. “Whiter Shade of Pale” (Procol Harem)

A lamb walks into a bar….  Kree  sounded fine, terrific even (exit stage le-eft), but it’s been a couple of weeks  since she’s sang a song in her element. B

Angie, “Who You Are” (Jessie J)

Whoever engineered the original track by Jessie J deserves a Grammy; her voice comes out so perfectly that they should teach that track in Track Engineering School. Angie’s version was surprisingly good, considering that Angie struggles with tightly wound rhythms. She did struggle with it at times, but only a hardcore fan of the song would have a problem with her interpretation. A-

Angie- “Cry me a River” (Julie London)

If you can listen to Julie London’s version and not be moved, get in a box because you are dead. Angie was to Julie London as McArthur Park is to music, but she hit the notes. B+

Amber/Kree- “Rumor Has It” (Adele)

If you ask me, this might have been Amber’s shiniest moment of the year. She stood next to Kree, who is going to be standing under the confetti in a couple of weeks, trying to hug the entire population of Los Angeles all at once while she waters the stage with tears of joy. Amber stood next to the likely Next American Idol, and blew her off the stage. It wasn’t that Kree sounded bad, either; Kree was terrific. Amber was just that much stronger. Kree is still going to win, though.

Candice/Angie- “Stay” (Rhianna and some guy)

It was weirdly like listening to a duet between Lil Rounds (out of tune) and Lauren Alaina (way too dramatic). Angie blew the doors off the song; singing the harmony and hitting her notes while Candice was wildly out of tune way too often.

Safe to in Danger-

Safe:

  • Kree
  • Angie

In Danger:

  • Candice
  • Amber

Amber was supposed to go tomorrow night, so I understand Jimmy’s Angst. I would be surprised, but not shocked, if either of the white girls landed in the bottom two.