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Slack Chat: Seven Words a Bleeping
Warning — this is an almost gleefully filthy slack chat. So don’t say we didn’t warn you.
*****
T: Hey J, what were Carlin’s seven dirty words?
J: George Carlin’s seven were shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. That would have an effect on my vocabulary.
T: Yeah, it would cut it by about a third.
J: Not to mention shortening these chats significantly.
Plus no squirrel pics.
T: Are the Carlin’s Seven still in effect?
J: I think the …
The Latest Writer Content
Donald Trump won't use the word communist because even the dumbest of his followers will see "communist" and think "Russia" -- something Trump doesn't want them to think. Yet, somehow, the Trump administration has rebranded the word "socialist" -- a...
T: The power of human stupidity seems overwhelming these days, J, and I feel like I spend half my waking hours trying to figure out why. My latest theory is that it’s evolutionary. I'm reading Sapiens: A Brief History of...
Robert Mueller was the last pin standing between Donald Trump and madness, and he just kicked it over like it was nothing. We are all the enemy now. We are all out to get Donald Trump. Trump might as well...
https://cdn.cnn.com/cnn/2019/images/04/18/mueller-report-searchable.pdf
T: Hey J, you nailed it on the shutdown. You win one internet; it’s in the mail. J: Sure, and I promise not to come in – T: Ok, it’s not really in the mail. J: It's good to see...
January 24, 2019 J: Hey T, day 34 of the shutdown is here. What do you think of all this happy horseshit? T: Another day, another round of rhetoric, but the shifts seem to be going the wrong way for...
January 23, 2019 J: Hey T, did you see that Pelosi told him to go have the State of the Union in a Holiday Inn in north Baltimore for all she cares? T: Those two are funny. Pelosi's doppelganger twin...
Rick Ankiel, 0.1. Players with at least 40 home runs and 40 games pitched: Babe Ruth (714, 163) Rick Ankiel (76, 51) Johnny Lindell (72, 55) George Van Haltren (69, 93) Cy Seymour (52, 141) Ruth (93), Seymour (61) and Van...
T: Hey J, did you see this interview with Roger Stone? Stone might be a serious paranoid – he’s always shifting his eyes everywhere like he’s about to jump at a shadow – but he’s glib, intelligent and very much...
George Herbert Walker Bush was the last living GOP president whose service predated the shift in party focus from the middle class to the rural poor. To the end of his life, he presented an image of integrity, honesty and...
Slack Chat: Fuelings .. nothing more than Fuelings
T: Hey J, did you know “llamba growing” is an anagram for “global warming”?
J: That doesn’t make any sense. What’s a llamba?
T: I’d tell you, but it would offend the Twitter-verse.
J: Why would that stop you?
T: You are right; the Twitter-verse is to being offended what Beeker is to nervous lab assistants.
J: Got one for climate change?
T: Um ….
How about “tea chime clang”?
J: That sounds like a rap group I’m about to characterize with a wildly racist stereotype.
T: I dare you.
J: No way. I get enough GOP junk mail as it is.
T: That wasn’t racist.
J: No, but it was …
About the Slack Chats
The slack chats are the brainchild of yammering subversives Johnny “Cake” Hunter and Terry “Insert Nickname Here” Vent. It was inevitable that they would combine their two favorite things — yammering and slacking — into an art form. Plus they stole the idea from Nate Silver’s FiveThirtyEight.
These guys have been off the grid for decades. I assumed they were still traveling the Pacific Rim, trading inflatable Strom Thurmond dolls to the natives for Polynesian weed, but a cursory google search found them hiding in the witness protection program, where they had been since they testified in the infamous “we can’t believe it’s not butter” truth in advertising scandal that took down Orville Redenbacher.
I think one’s in a cult and the other one sells insurance, but I can never remember which one of these jokers sold his soul to an evil demagogue and which one sells flowers at the airport. They call themselves radical centrists, which (I think) means they hate everybody.
Their voting record is all over the map. Both have, at times, cast ballots for chronic losers in the major parties, third parties and once (allegedly) for a Care Bear. Neither one of them voted for Trump, but they think Ivanka is super hot.
Enjoy the madness.
Regards,
D.B. Cooper (shhh … )
