Tip the preacher half a buck
Toss her carcass in the truck
Open a window to ventilate the smell
You take her head, I’ll take her feet
We’ll toss her out behind the A and P
Let the vultures cart her off to hell
If you see me dancing a jig
Wallowing in mud like a pig
Drowning in a sea of mirth and laughter
If you think my dignity
Should matter since she set me free
Well, I dunno
Dig her up and ask her
That woman used to run my life
I never won a single fight
A blind man could see all our kids were bastards
But my long nightmare’s in the past
If you don’t think she can kiss my ass
Then go ahead
Dig her up and ask her
I’ll pop myself a beer
Call my old friends over
And we’ll have a bash
To celebrate she’s gone (yee-haw))
We’ll urinate right in the sink
We’ll toss out everything that’s pink
Play Frisbee with the china on the lawn
I thought she was too mean to die
That woman finally made me cry
I meant it when I said forever after
So am I wrong, am I a louse
When I take my grief to her sister’s house?
You know where to find her
Dig her up and ask her
If ya ’all don’t mind the smell
Drag her ass on back from hell
I’ll be on vacation in New York
If I get lucky wish me well
For though I may be old as hell
I’m chugging down Viagra by the quart
I thought she was too mean to die
That woman finally made me cry
I meant it when I said forever after
But if you don’t believe that witch’s
Life insurance made me rich
Don’t ask me
Dig her up and ask her
