Getting to the Nuts of the Matter

Gun control advocates are missing the obvious solution. We don’t need to outlaw guns, we need to outlaw assholes who use guns as penile extensions.

Publicly neuter anyone who attempts to commit a mass murder, even if they die in the attempt. Have a ceremony if you want, but make sure somebody makes a video and that it gets posted on YouTube. If you are queasy you don’t have to watch it; I doubt there would be more than a couple before the whole thing goes away, anyway.

Girls might not unnderstand why this would work – how this would stop the stream of copycats – but every guy I know will. These little assholes want to be famous? I say neuter ’em, and let ’em get a billion views on YouTube.

Will anyone actually do this? Of course not.

Would it work? You tell me.