August 29, 2016
T: Sometimes you’re the lightning, sometimes you just hope you ain’t the fish.
And sometimes you just douse the flames and move on.
J: God’s smoking some salmon tonight.
T: If Drew Carey is right, it’s tuna that is getting smoked. You ever hear that routine, John?
J: No, never heard that one.
T: Back when there were all those protests against Dolphins getting caught in tuna nets. Dolphin safe tuna. Drew Carey said, “Well, that’s great if you’re a dolphin, but what if you are a *&$#ing tuna? A tuna is flopping around in the boat; it says what, I’m not cute enough for ya?'”
J: Getting caught must be like going to heaven for a fish. You go up into the light and see your dead relatives lying around.
T: Is heaven just a tuna boat? John, you have offered the “heaven as tuna boat” theory.
J: I think I’ll start a religion: Tunafarianism. Our god will be Ras Tunari.
T: I dunno, John, sooner or later someone’s gonna want to know how you reconcile reincarnation with the fact that your followers all taste good with mayo and pickle relish.
T: The mayo schism!
J: Always look on the white (bread) side of life.