Slack Chat: What were we talking about?

T: I wonder if we are on the verge of a fresh style thing? Women used to always push their boobs up to make them look firm, but with so many fake boobs out there now, it might be sexier and more of a Darwinian survive- and reproduce effect to have them hang down, like real boobs do.
J: Maybe … although I’m sure you won’t have hordes of women rushing to plastic surgeons saying “I NEED SAGGY BOOBS! GIVE ME SAGGY BOOBS NOOOOOWWWWW!!!!”
T: I think the saggy boobs look could be popular again. Why not? “Hey doc, can you take these down a couple of inches? My husband is on a naturalist kick.”
J: Everything old is new again. So to speak. Everything high is low again. Everything firm is soft again. Ah, screw it.
T: American porn just sucks. All the girls have fake boobs covered in tattoos and the guys are all hairless little weenies. Everybody is soaked in Viagra, so foreplay is as pointless as waiting for the bus while it’s just sitting there, right in front of you. Nobody makes any effort to do anything sexy, or sensual. They just pound on each other like jackhammers, bouncing around the bed, shaking like unbalanced washers.
J: I think the saggy boob thing is popular in Japan. Their female porn stars all have big, natural-looking boobs. I’ve been told. I’ve never seen it myself.
T: What a change a generation makes, huh? When we were young, the Asian women we saw on television were all flat chested. Of course, so were a lot of American women. The first group of women on Saturday Night Live all looked like they were anorexic. So did the original cast on Charlie’s Angels, and every 6-foot, 90-pound supermodel.
J: Tastes change. It seems like society as a whole has moved away from the “thin is in” mindset. Maybe too many models starved themselves to death.
But it does seem like a little extra weight is a bonus these days
T: I think I first noticed it in the early- to mid-1990s. I read something around 1995, about how guys had suddenly started liking women with curves. Women started to wear more form fitting clothes – no more of those pleated, billowing slacks that they wore on all the sitcoms – and women started to get a little thicker, a little curvier, a little less bony and anorexic looking.
By the time I started working at the Star, jeans were barely covering anything, and even heavy women let their belly buttons show, usually with a ring inserted. I’m starting to see more body shaming now, over the bitch-ternet, but the quick-to-shame social media also makes it hard to enforce anything. We can’t agree on anything else; how are we going to agree on fashion?
We might finally be past the point where gay men can dictate styles to women, trying to make them all look like young boys. And yes, that’s what Project Runway and all those metrosexual shows were doing. Turning attractive women into little boys.
J: Well sure, ok – whatever … but what’s that got to do with Sarah Palin? All I wanted to know is, do you think she was involved in Russiagate? She was always talking about how she was neighbors with the Russians.
T: Oops.