The slack chats were the brainchild of yammering subversives Johnny “Cake” Hunter and Terry “Insert Nickname Here” Vent. It was inevitable that they would combine their two favorite things — yammering and slacking — into an art form. Plus they stole the idea from Nate Silver’s FiveThirtyEight.
These guys have been off the grid for decades. I figured they were still traveling the Pacific Rim, trading inflatable Chuck Grassley dolls to the natives for Polynesian weed, but a cursory google search found them hiding in the witness protection program. They’d been in the program since they testified in the infamous “we can’t believe it’s not butter” truth in advertising scandal that took down Orville Redenbacher.
Now one’s in a cult and the other one sells insurance; I can never remember which one sold his soul to an evil demagogue, and which one sells flowers at the airport. They call themselves radical centrists, which I think means they hate everybody.
Their voting record is all over the map. Both have cast ballots for chronic losers in the major parties, third parties and once (allegedly) for a Care Bear. Neither one of them voted for Trump, but they think Ivanka is super hot. Enjoy the madness.
D.B. Cooper (shh.)