January 24, 2019 J: Hey T, day 34 of the shutdown is here. What do you think of all this happy horseshit? T: Another day, another round of rhetoric, but the shifts seem to be going the wrong way for...
January 23, 2019 J: Hey T, did you see that Pelosi told him to go have the State of the Union in a Holiday Inn in north Baltimore for all she cares? T: Those two are funny. Pelosi's doppelganger twin...
Rick Ankiel, 0.1. Players with at least 40 home runs and 40 games pitched: Babe Ruth (714, 163) Rick Ankiel (76, 51) Johnny Lindell (72, 55) George Van Haltren (69, 93) Cy Seymour (52, 141) Ruth (93), Seymour (61) and Van...
T: Hey J, did you see this interview with Roger Stone? Stone might be a serious paranoid – he’s always shifting his eyes everywhere like he’s about to jump at a shadow – but he’s glib, intelligent and very much...
George Herbert Walker Bush was the last living GOP president whose service predated the shift in party focus from the middle class to the rural poor. To the end of his life, he presented an image of integrity, honesty and...
The biggest obstacle to the public understanding climate change is that global warming gets all of the attention. The warming aspect is just one aspect of the larger picture. I am not the most qualified climate change analyst, so take...
T: Hey J, did you get to Barnes &Noble yet? J: Not yet, probably tomorrow. T: I can't imagine you out there slogging through the Black Friday crowds, but you are married. J: I'm just married, not stupid. T: I've been...
In My Next Life — Gary Fletcher
When I’m reincarnated,
armed with all my lessons,
and I cannot be pierced,
I will take the lonely highways
and the crowded marketplaces,
I will learn to play an instrument
and learn another language,
and I won’t share anything except my blueness…
Some may think they understand me
even though they do not know me,
and even if they hold me
or even want to scold me
for I recall
the chickens squawking
and the axes chopping
the crowds inside of cars
trudging on the freeway
mostly listening to music
while I gaze about astonished
at all these odd constructions
of things that no one really understands
and I can’t share anything except confusion
and submission and acceptance
and wondering what’s for dinner.
Slack Chat: Fuelings .. nothing more than Fuelings
T: Hey J, did you know “llamba growing” is an anagram for “global warming”?
J: That doesn’t make any sense. What’s a llamba?
T: I’d tell you, but it would offend the Twitter-verse.
J: Why would that stop you?
T: You are right; the Twitter-verse is to being offended what Beeker is to nervous lab assistants.
J: Got one for climate change?
T: Um ….
How about “tea chime clang”?
J: That sounds like a rap group I’m about to characterize with a wildly racist stereotype.
The slack chats are the brainchild of yammering subversives Johnny “Cake” Hunter and Terry “Insert Nickname Here” Vent. It was inevitable that they would combine their two favorite things — yammering and slacking — into an art form. Plus they stole the idea from Nate Silver’s FiveThirtyEight.
These guys have been off the grid for decades. I assumed they were still traveling the Pacific Rim, trading inflatable Strom Thurmond dolls to the natives for Polynesian weed, but a cursory google search found them hiding in the witness protection program, where they had been since they testified in the infamous “we can’t believe it’s not butter” truth in advertising scandal that took down Orville Redenbacher.
I think one’s in a cult and the other one sells insurance, but I can never remember which one of these jokers sold his soul to an evil demagogue and which one sells flowers at the airport. They call themselves radical centrists, which (I think) means they hate everybody.
Their voting record is all over the map. Both have, at times, cast ballots for chronic losers in the major parties, third parties and once (allegedly) for a Care Bear. Neither one of them voted for Trump, but they think Ivanka is super hot.
Her name was fake, but the ink-stained wretch in the monogrammed bloomers was real. Let’s face it; she had to be. Her tale fails miserably as a work of fiction. It’s too pat, too perfect. No self-respecting publisher would buy it. Nellie Bly was thrust into poverty at an early age, during a period in […]
I think our current state of evolution might best be described as early adolescence. In my way of thinking the beginning of domestication, with the resulting push towards civilization, symbolizes the time when a child would begin school. The Industrial Revolution symbolizes the beginning of puberty, and our current state of high technology and power […]
I think the reason I am in college now is related to Nietzsche’s principles. I decided that I wanted to do one more hard thing before I got too old; I decided that hard thing was to go back to college. Many of my long-time friends have gradually faded out of my life in the […]
I think life itself is the prize for living. Moments of pleasure, like spending time with family and friends, eating a good meal, seeing a good movie, even something as banal as the satisfaction we feel when we cut off a toenail are small prizes for living. I also think life’s meaning is everywhere, but maybe we […]
How many people does it take to need a government? I see attention as the key. In pairs, each member can give virtually full attention to the other. Nobody is ever more careful to act in the larger interest than someone who feels as if he or she is being watched. The need for governing […]