Kids These Days
From Dave Barry's "2018 Year in Review" column in the Washington Post:
In youth fads, the American Association of Poison Control Centers continues to receive reports of young people suffering ill effects from eating Tide detergent pods. Asked to explain why young people would persist in eating something that tastes terrible and makes them sick, an AAPCC spokesperson says, “As far as we can determine, it’s because they’re stupid."
Curmudgeon would be a great name for a newly discovered species of crab.